The leaves clung to the trees by a thread, their last gasp before surrendering to the cold, damp Transylvanian ground. The blood moon had been spotted in the east, thus commencing the annual blood harvest, a time when vampires from across the historical vampire regions descended upon the imperial capital of Transylvania, Brasov.
The event was epic and marked by a chaotic symphony of commerce and ritual as vampires gathered in Brasov to sell and buy blood. This was no ordinary market; this was the heart of vampire society, celebrating their dominion and devotion to DracuLord, the creator of all vampires, including their beloved King Dracula. Long ago, Brasov was a mere city in Romania, but now, 2,500 years after the Great Mortal War, it stands as a vampire power stronghold. The Great Vampire Awakening began when the Royal Army of Dracula triumphed over their eternal rivals, the werewolves and humans. This period was marked by King Dracula consolidating his power and expanding The Vampire Empire to new lands. Although the war had been a heroic feat, bringing vampires new territory and powers, packs of werewolves still existed throughout the new empire. However, their energy and strength were weakened to the point where no central leadership guided the packs, leaving them decimated and on the verge of extinction!
The mood at the central blood markets was one of pride and triumph, making for the largest ever, stretching from the peak of Tampa Mountain to the ancient Saxon monuments! The area was punctuated by mass chaos and excess. Thousands of pints of the finest blood exchanged hands every few seconds. Vampires screamed at one another, unprovoked biting was rampant, and the underworld of commerce exploded, led by the Blood Shadows, those vampires who were banished to the underworld of society. They thrived at criminal dealings, skilled thieves indispensable to the elite! Usually, the Blood Shadows took a 25% cut. However, many career thieves demanded a 50% commission. The atmosphere was electric, with authorities poised to strike at any sign of trouble.
Suddenly, without warning, the blood moon was obscured by a blinding array of colors! A psychedelic pink fog enveloped the market and the entire city, triggering mass panic amongst the vampires and halting all activity! As the sky turned a bright pink hue, one could make out a multi-coloured unicorn, ridden by a figure clad in vibrant, clownish attire—a vampire clown named Shenani-Giggles, who once was a blood shadow himself but managed to escape the darkness of the underworld to become a conniving eccentric creature in the form of a clown. The sight of this enigmatic figure brought young vampires flocking to The Midnight Circus of Shadows, an event that never disappointed. However, only the young could resist the potent gasses he unleashed on the marketplace, enabling them to witness the fantastic shows put on by Shenani-Giggles and his entourage of misfits and freaks. Adult vampires were blinded by the psychedelic fog and gasses that foreshadowed his appearance!!
Shenani-Giggles, the enigmatic clown, leapt from his unicorn, shouting, “Dearest vampires, let the show begin!” With those words, he threw his magic red duffel bag to the ground, sprinkling it with fine blue blood. Within seconds, a giant tent the size of Brasov replaced the market stalls and brought the blood trade to a halt!
The circus was underway! Every circus was always different, always featuring different shows and characters. However, one show that never changed was one starring Venǎ Vodama Zadarnic or VVZ, who was famous for her terminal vanity. Out of the bag came hundreds of performers, including a 10-meter-high spider who breathed fire, setting the blood markets ablaze.
Once the markets were on fire, purple smoke from all the blood being traded began to envelop the scene, allowing cover for Shenani-Giggles to pull out his mammoth blood-sucking machine, which he named “The Leech.” With a flip of a switch, the blood vacuum was ready for action.
Not since the end of The Great Mortal War had he been spotted, taking many by surprise! Now that the Vampire Empire had begun to flourish, he became a wild card, an agent of disruption who moved from town to town, spreading chaos in his wake.
While Shenani-giggles was busy siphoning off the blood from the market, the show’s star, VVZ, began setting up for the main event, The Greatest Show of Vanity! She started the show by throwing her designer bat leather purse to the ground and immediately unpacking 10,000 mirrors! Once all the mirrors were arranged in perfect order, she pulled out an ancient relic from the distant past, a mobile phone, admiring herself and taking endless selfies of herself.
Within precisely 21 seconds, she became distraught, angry, and frustrated. The images she saw in the mirrors were far from her stratospheric standards, launching her into a total rage meltdown, screaming, “What in the fucking goddamn hell is wrong with these mirrors!! They lie!!! I am 1000000% more beautiful than what these fucking things are showing. I am thin and beautiful, and my lips are made of golden blue blood! Although, in reality, they were fake prosthetic lips made by Shenani-Giggles! The rage became so intense and fierce that she reached into the designer bat leather purse and grabbed a 25-meter-long sledgehammer, smashing each mirror into trillions of small pieces, screaming with blood force: “This is what you get for your lies!!! I am beautiful!!! No mirror or selfie can take away from my special gift bestowed upon me by the heavens!!!” She stood there looking proud of herself as if she had just won the immortal beauty pageant, a contest she once entered, only to be removed for threatening the judges.
Just as she cracked a smile, the microscopic shards of glass started to morph into giant trolls, each representing a part of her ugly personality! They rose, one after the other and began to chase her endlessly until she imploded, leaving only her gigantic prosthetic lips squirming around like a fish out of water!
Once she imploded, Shenani-Giggles turned off “The Leech,” having accomplished his mission by sucking every last drop of the billions of pints into a tiny tube! The heist was a marvellous success! He not only crashed the most significant and grandest Blood Harvest Festival but stole billions of pints of blood and fulfilled his goal of sowing mass chaos.
Once he swept up VVZ’s jumping sausage lips into the red duffle bag, the red, white, and yellow tents collapsed into a tiny, compact briefcase! Shenani-Giggles carefully walked over the dazed and very confused vampires who lay unconscious on the streets of Brasov and mounted his unicorn, Bunǎ, ascending into the colorful sky, leaving behind a decimated marketplace devoid of all blood.
The vampires awakened once the pink clouds and purple fog lifted, and the tents were safely stowed away in his duffle bag! To their shock and dismay, they found a ruined market with every last drop of blood gone!!! Anger, rage, and frustration boiled over, plunging the once bustling market into a chaotic scene of anarchy! As the vampires began to attack one another viciously, tiny beams of light suddenly appeared in the eastern sky, causing everyone to freeze! Dawn was nearly upon them, leaving precious few minutes to seek safety from the light.
Mass panic ensued as vampires desperately sought shelter. Many, such as the Nocturnal Bourgeois, the upper members of society, always came prepared with their “black bags,” a survival bag containing a light-blocking tent, emergency blood supplies to last them through the day, and an inflatable coffin so they could sleep through the day.
However, those who were mere blood peasants met the unlucky fate of a merciless sun and 50C heat, melting them and transforming them into stone. Amongst the unfortunate victims was Luminita’s grandfather, Wallachia, the most respected blood trader. He had no safety tent, having forgotten it back in Prahova County! Tragically, within moments of the sunrise, he turned into a rotted, burned-out dead tree.
In honor of his tragic fate, the family officially changed its name from the Acoloescus to the Dimineațăs, meaning morning in ancient Romanian. The family felt this was the best way to honor Transylvania’s most prolific blood trader and remind future generations to always be prepared in the event of sudden dawn or light.
Shenani-giggles was nowhere to be seen, but now, with the vampire race stronger, many speculated this might only be the beginnings of the enigmatic clown’s shenanigans!
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